I thought the situation was dire, what with the wall, shutdown and He Who Shall Not Be Named in charge of it all. Then, the Australian accent happened. I don’t think I can take it anymore.
I don’t watch The Bachelor, but apparently there’s a female candidate on the show who has faked an Australian accent because she thought it would improve her chances to win the love and devotion of someone with whom she’s had ten false interactions. All this while being observed by millions of people.
The concept of the show has always perplexed me. It’s hard enough meeting the right person in life, but a manufactured ‘right person’? I’m pretty sure for those participants, it’s not really about the romance. Instead, they, by virtue of their presence on the show, immediately qualify for membership in a club that He Who Shall Not Be Named created. It’s called All About Me All the Time.
Why else would anyone agree to such a parody of the basic human need to connect in a meaningful manner? Real romance involves authenticity, intimacy and commitment. As far as I can tell, the relationships on The Bachelor are more about hours-long makeup sessions, day long set up shots and pretending to be from another country.
I should watch the show to be completely fair in my appraisal of what feels like the last gasp of civilization, but I’m too busy immersing myself in the genuine interactions of the candidates on The Great British Baking Show. Those competitors sweat. They feel real stress and experience emotional trauma. Further, they don’t need to fake an Australian accent because they’re already speaking with charming British or Scottish ones.
Not that I’m going to read up on the final results of The Bachelor, but I am predicting that fake accent will enhance the girl’s chances of winning the bogus affection of a spray tanned young man who should be out in the world looking for a real job and a nice young woman who doesn’t feel the need to fake anything. However, that kind of scenario is apparently the new reality in this country. Those who are All About Me All the Time are getting the most attention and rewards.
The solution to the state of our union and the travesty of the above mentioned show seems simple; put those people in a kitchen, give them three hours to create a carousel out of homemade biscuit dough and see who wins. Nothing fake about that.
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